in 8 hrs time, i'll be in changi international airport, terminal 2, row1.. flight's at 0230hrs.. this sense of dread is overwhelming me.. feel sick in the stomach.. i don't want to go.. the pressure and responsibilities.. i just want a break.. and the badge too.. this is the whole reason for the trip actually.. not too much of a motivation but.. sigh.. pray that pple aren't too cranky there.. or us cadets are gonna suffer big time.. sigh.. this stinks.. will be back on 22 dec.. scarred for life.. haha.. all that's gonna be in my mind during this period of hell's my loved ones and great friends.. hopefully that will be enough to last me these few weeks.. my evenstar will guide me through the toughest times.. =) so before i disappear for a while, have a great month ahead friends! talk to u guys when i get back.. if i get back..
chiyu

great.. the clock ticks.. i don't want to go.. this strange feeling in my gut.. fear? whatever it is, i ain't enjoying it.. yes, i want e badge.. no, i don't want to go.. bleah.. things are gonna be hectic.. aiya.. just feeling real irritated.. and confused.. this stinks..
chiyu

counting down e days to my brunei trip.. not really looking forward to it.. 3 more weeks of suffering.. argh.. worst still, i'm e new cadet platoon sergeant for the trip.. additional responsibilities for an already stressful trip.. argh.. i'm gonna so load up on food over this weekend.. am really gonna miss everyone back home.. went out to town last night.. was supposed to watch the incredibles with anlin but unfortunately, the show's sold out.. tried to purchase tix for polar express too but they only had single seats left.. bleah.. we stoned about for a few moments then decided to take a walk around orchard.. i feel kinda bad about 'tekan-ing' her, making her walk about the whole of orchard.. thank goodness she didn't seem to mind too much.. just realised that whenever we went out together, we'd walk alot.. haha.. btw.. we chatted lots on the way, even more when we sat down at coffee club at wisma.. did more walking about after that.. really did alot of catching up.. she later took a video of me, making a fool of myself (so what's new) in front of this jiggly xmas tree.. kinda embarrassing.. if u're reading this, DON'T POST IT ON THE NET!!! (for ur eyes only).. haha.. ;oP anyways.. got her back home just after midnight.. after biding her farewell, i took a little walk around e area.. really like the neighbourhood, all quiet and peaceful.. but its no place for a girl to be walking about alone at night.. after soaking up enough moonbeams, i made my way home.. stoned in front of the tv till 3 before i decided to Zzz.. all in all a great day.. if only everyday of my life is like this, i'd die without regrets.. =)

chiyu

its a wednesday evening.. i'm at the cadets' mess.. nights out tonight but i chose to stay in camp for some free time.. got back from the range in e early afternoon.. didn't get marksmenship badge coz of tt unforgiving IA that caused me to miss those vital shots.. was pretty much unmotivated to do well after that incident.. frigging magazine.. screwed up spring.. rounds that fall out from e mags.. argh.. oh well.. -_-" been a rather crappy week in camp.. haven't been feeling like my usual self lately.. even some of my friends in camp tell me that.. i dunno why.. just tired i suppose.. tired of having to live in constant alertness and in a sense, fear.. totally miss those days when i could live as a happy-go-lucky civilian.. leaving for brunei in less than a week's time.. dunno what to expect.. i'm pretty sure its going to be a heck of a rush when we touch down.. am looking forward more to the jungle confidence course itself rather than the infantry training and admin time in camp coz during the course, we'd be alone, with no instructors or figures of authourity around.. can't wait to book out this friday night..
chiyu

hoi.. back after a long week in camp.. we had close combat training everyday! gosh.. millions of breakfalls (that's when we throw ourselves to the ground in different stances to minimise damage upon impact.. and yes, we do fail sometimes.. ouch..) close combat can be fun, esp when we practice the different locks and holds on our buddies but sometimes, you just wonder about the practicality it all in war.. i mean.. if i was on the battle field, the last thing i would do to bring down my enemy is by grabbing him by the wrist, getting him into a wrist lock postion, followed by a goose neck 'round his hand and swinging in to complete an ultimate lock before breaking his wrist.. hmm.. the highlight of the week.. friday, watermanship and assault boat training.. was out at sea for most of friday.. imagine a horde of guys packed like sardines onto a little speed boat, then crashing the craft onto the beach before we rush out hornets into the vegetation just beyond the sand.. the sight of 12 assault boats speeding along the coast is indeed quite breathtaking, esp with armed soldiers on board.. like a scene from saving private ryan.. ran into a couple of friends there too.. haha.. the tonner drive (wee kiat) was my jc band mate with the coxswain (boat driver terry) was my senior on sec sch band.. imagine the odds.. haha.. it was ocs challenge on saturday and i, unfortunately was the wing mascot.. boy was i embarrassed.. cardboard box fashioned into a dragon's head.. red cape.. black camo paint.. argh.. worst of all, the 3 min solo presentation on front of the whole of ocs!! what a hell of a nightmare.. booked out in mid afternoon.. slept at 5 pm.. all the way till 5 this morning.. what a way to waste my saturday..
chiyu