gotta keep this short.. way past my 'bedtime'.. gotta report bck to camp at 0630 hrs for guard duty.. can't believe a agreed to take over my friend who's birthday was this week so he wnted to celebrate over the weekend.. flying off to thailand in 8 days time.. back in singapore on the 12th of sept and will be flying off again for taiwan for 3 weeks on th 16th of sept.. talk about having a packed schedule.. totally no time for myself nor my family and friends.. sigh.. gonna miss some pple whom i won't get to see for a while.. highlights for the week.. rjc visit.. i was the ambush team.. we emptied loads of blanks and thunderflashes at them in our 'sneak' ambush.. its funny how no one spots u in the bushes even when they walk right pass u.. was quite fun though.. lots of ippt training this week as well.. so much so that i almost wanted to fall out a couple of times.. i feel like a complete wreck.. bleah.. and abit like a wuss coz everytime i tell myself that i would report sick coz i don't feel like taking part in the training, i never have the guts to do it.. i always end up completing it anyways.. could be a good thing though.. i dunno.. u decide.. lots of outfield training next week.. i really must enjoy myself next weekend.. haha.. not much chance to do so left.. for my friends having their prelims soon, study hard and all the best! to those who just completed aslc, congrats sergeant.. and for those who are just feeling down (like me), hang in there..
chiyu

this is it.. i'm less than an hour away from leaving my home.. returning to that crap-hole i call camp.. another hellish week begins.. i don't want to go back.. not at all.. i don't want to wake up in the morning knowing that i'm about to suffer again.. i can take it, yes.. but i do not want to.. my body is fighting back.. i want it to stop.. but it won't.. caught in the middle of this mess.. i will walk through it.. i can.. but i just don't feel like it.. stinks.. my mind's in a mess as well.. why must this happen.. why must i relive something that i've cast aside so long ago.. i want to be there.. but i can't.. i'm sinking.. can u pull me up? i really wish it would be u who pick me up..
chiyu

my first week in delta wing.. hellish.. really miss life in sierra.. we have about an hour of PT each morning.. total culture shock on my first day.. they totally shag u out first thing in the morning.. another thing.. e instructors there aren't as bright as those in sierra.. i suppose it never occured to them that after intensive workout, any normal human being would need recovery time.. those goons at delta pump in as many ippt tests as they can in as short a period of time possible.. imagine having to do e ippt when all ur muscules are bruised, sore and weak.. life in delta is really rigid.. no flexibility at all.. dumbasses.. as u can probably tell, i'm really disgusted by e state in which the people there are in.. its like the pple there (both instructors and cadets) are cavemen.. never seen the world before.. the more i'm typing, the more frustrated i get.. e assistant wing SM there is a doofus.. he's quite nice at times but looking at the way he is running things, i don't think it'll do us good.. i know he's got our welfare at heart but i'd rather he not.. the wing SM himself is a weird one.. bleah.. it was safti day on friday... all the wings got a long weekend becoz of it.. except delta.. surprise surprise.. we gotta do ippt on saturday morning! best part is, after leaving e wingline for e stadium, we were told that it was cancelled coz e pdf are having an open house and are using the stadium.. 'SO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT U MADE US STAY THE NIGHT FOR NO DOODY-SHIT?!' i'm like totally speechless.. hello? ever heard about confirming things before hand since there are so many activities happening around safti?.. doofus.. anyways.. got my tag board.. wonder if it works.. think i'll test it out later.. anyways.. bought an elvis cd.. never really listened to his songs but somehow, the cd just caught my eye.. not bad actually.. my body's a total wreck.. bleah.. crap.. 'for the muscules chi.. for the muscules...' had to keep motivating myself every morning.. argh.. kinda troubled by a certain event that happened last night.. its kinda like an alarm clock in my head/heart, going tick tick tick.. real uncomfortable.. so many flashbacks in my head.. like picking a heavy load that i've tossed aside after walking with it for months up again.. bleah.. should i still pick it up for a look see or should i just walk by it? aiya.. headache..
chiyu

okie.. thing's that i've done since i've last updated my blog.. headed for shaw centre in town on saturday.. had to make my number 5 J for the thailand exchange programme.. (its a long sleeve version of the army number 3 with a blazer and tie) the tailor that was taking my measurements was like 'wow.. u so tall must use alot of cloth'.. well.. just trying to make the most outta the SAF's money since no matter e amount of cloth used, it still costs the same.. haha.. kinda caught the sniffles.. uncomfortable.. i'll be going back to camp tml.. to delta wing.. i've heard about the 'delta conversion course' that all new comers to delta wing have to go through.. ain't looking forward to that session of tekan.. sigh.. quite abit of uncertainties for me but i guess i can handle it.. kinda use to all that crap already.. stoneing away at home today.. haha.. no life.. still gotta re-adjust my webbing since i took them apart for washing.. it finally smells decent.. well.. lots have been going on in my head.. about my future, about my life, about other pple.. i've decided that i'm gonna take things one step at a time.. i'm not the type that makes an agenda and sticks by it all the way.. call me uncommitted if u will but i like to think that i tend to have too many ideas to pen down and i'd like to act upon an idea that comes to me.. reading a caption from my friend, i'm sure that i don't want to remain single all my life.. for me, ideal would be.. marriage by 28, kids by 30.. how does that sound?
chiyu

ok.. its block leave.. i'm in pro term.. foot blistered.. one heck of a week.. a real fast week.. lets see.. booked in on sunday night.. didn't do much on monday morning.. supposed to have SEOC lesson but due to some cock ups, it was cancelled.. which was a good thing for us.. i got to know my posting.. infantry.. posted to delta wing, platoon 2.. delta's alot stricter than foxtrot but everyone says that going to delta is better coz they really provide quality training.. so is that good or bad?.. i dunno.. i'll have to see next week.. went over to e soc ground to support linus and dilane as they give it their last shot at passing soc and st2.. they both didn't make the timing.. must be all e fatigue we've gotten.. linus kinda broke down.. really broke my heart to see that chubby, happy-go-lucky guy cry.. lucky he was given a conditional pass.. he has to pass it in e first month of pro term or he is out.. dilane on the other hand has to recourse.. sad to see someone u've been around having to fail the course.. sigh.. but that's life i guess.. 24km route march.. one hell of a march.. didn't feel as tired as when i did it in bmt though.. only felt the weight of my field pack at the concluding leg of the route march.. almost feel asleep during the senior bar presentation on top of elephant hill at the end of the march.. finally, 3 white bars upon my shoulders.. after that, we were all super groggy due to the lack of sleep.. still had to do LOTS of dekitting and packing up after e march.. darn.. all we wanted then was sleep.. had social night last night at hotel intercontinental grand ballroom.. what a night.. i asked anlin along and she graciously accepted my invitation (thank god!).. hope i didn't totally bore her out since she doesn't know anyone at the event.. 8 dish course meal.. its like the last time i'll be seeing some of the guys or at least until comissioning day in january.. all of us had to bring a date to the event and wing commander can't stop thanking the dates for turning up tonight.. haha.. wonder what's with him.. anyways.. anlin if u are reading this, thank you for a wonderful night! =o) played a little on my ps2 upon reaching home.. decided to finally sleep at 0130hrs.. that's about all for my short week..
chiyu

LONG WEEKEND!!! WOOHOOO!!!!! finally, my first proper book out after 3 weeks.. sigh.. anyways.. wednesday is my last day in sierra wing.. moving on to professional term next monday.. looks like i'll be spending my next 6 months in either delta or foxtrot wing.. bleah.. neither to my liking... i'd rather stay on in sierra.. too bad we have to shut down since most of us are going to e support arms.. not really practical to carry on as a wing with so little people.. just gotta make space for e next batch of juniors to come into sierra.. had exercise spade from tuesday to friday morning... barely had sleep over these few days.. all we did was dig, dig, dig.. bleah.. screwy.. and e best part is, my buddy was like concussed due to lack of sleep and no matter how i tried, he refused to wake up to help dig. so, i had to do it alone all night long while he slept.. the site where we were supposed to dig was unreal... in e middle of a whole plot of tapioca and other shrubs.. u cannot imagine how dense e undergrowth was.. by e time we were done with clearing e vegetation, e other guys were already knee high in their shellscrapes.. the location on my trench was kinda facing e sun so.. as long as there was daylight, we tasted e sun in all its fury.. and not a single cloud decided to help out.. e heat was terrible, so much so that i couldn't dig for more then 5 mins even if i really wanted to.. almost blacked out from e heat a couple of times.. man.. that was by far e craziest field camp i've ever been to.. bleah.. oh well.. looks like i'll end here...
chiyu

just booked out today.. yes, on a sunday instead of the usual saturdays.. had platoon live firing on the day so didn't book out.. highlights of the week.. platoon field camp.. the toughest field camp i've ever been to.. walk and walk.. then run and run.. then shoot and scoot.. 3 days of soaking wet boots.. miserable and tired.. plus the camo cream sorta got into my eyes and irritated the hell outta me.. hurt my knee due to the constant kneeling by the road everytime something seems suspicious while we are moving along the tracks.. and every single time i prone/kneel to take cover, i always end up in an ant nest/trail.. ouch.. platoon live firning wasn't all that bad.. i was e m203 gunner.. finally.. no longer the LAW gunner.. for the 1st time.. saw the video of my platoon's assualt during Ex Zebra.. quite cool as we all rush in through the gap anf fanning out, guns blazing.. Ex Spade on tues.. heard its like the toughest field camp an OCT would have to go through.. oh well.. e final major highlight of service term.. gotta book in by 0630hrs tml.. argh.. think i'll end here..
chiyu